


break my ribs (and take my heart)

by dilbar



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, doyoung falls hard, doyoung is kind of a petty asshole, i cried, interlocking pinkies, its ok he comes around, johnjae if u squint, mentioned taewin, pls love my baby, yuta is a rlly nice person, yuta kitty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-28 02:27:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20418368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dilbar/pseuds/dilbar
Summary: "Fuck men." Yuta spits and shit, that was kind of hot.





	break my ribs (and take my heart)

Kim Doyoung knew Nakamoto Yuta. Of course, he did.

Who didn't know the Japanese ice prince who spoke to nothing but air, secluded himself, barely showed himself to classes, to those he showed up, slept through them. And yet ended up topping in every single class he took. All of them.

Yuta was, well, Yuta. He was smart, good looking, and according to the teachers, socially well aware, though Doyoung had yet to see that.

Yuta seemed effortless. He wouldn't even blink and still pass. He missed most classes, slept in the ones he attended. And somehow still got the highest grades. Meanwhile Doyoung worked hard day and night, sacrificed sleep and leisure, all that just to place second? Doyoung was absolutely not having this.

Coming second annoyed him, and so Yuta annoyed him.

Their first ever interaction was straight out of a clichè movie.

Yuta had been running to the field for football practice, his gigantic bag in his arms. Doyoung was running to complete a professor's errands. Both of them were so immersed in their own businesses that they didn't see the other and ended up bumping into each other.

Yuta hadn't received much damage and was just merely shoved, but Doyoung had fallen backwards onto the floor, bringing down the bundle of papers in his arms with him, which got scattered on the floor.

“Oh God, I'm so sorry,” Yuta had immediately settled his bag down and reached his hand out as an offer of help. Doyoung had looked up to see who it was, but once he recognized Nakamoto Yuta, all his intentions of apologizing had flown right out of the window. 

Doyoung had sneered and gotten up himself, ignoring Yuta's hand and proceeded to sit down on his knees to collect the papers. "Watch where you go next time."

The football player was baffled at the cold treatment. His eyebrows furrowed but he didn't pay much mind to it, thinking that the other must have been really stressed.

“Do you need any help?” Yuta, still wanting to help, had also bent down himself to start gathering the papers around him in his arms.

Doyoung had been surprised at the offer of help, not expecting the ever so cold and icy Nakamoto Yuta to bend on his precious knees to help him. His mind was about to think of how maybe Yuta wasn't as bad as everyone makes him out to be, until the little demon on his shoulder had convinced him otherwise.

“I don't need your help. You can go on your way.” came his cold reply. Yuta, now completely done at the way a stranger was treating him, got up and dusted his knees.

“You don't have to be such an asshole.” He had scoffed and went back on his way after picking up his bag.

And there was the Yuta he knew.

Ever since then, both of them have been on each other's neck. Glares and sneers were constantly sent in each other's direction. While they were never initiated from Yuta, he didn't hesitate to reply with just as fervour.

Doyoung had taken this annoyance to all sorts of levels. The man wouldn't even breathe the same air as him, wouldn't dare stand in a specific range of him. His friends knew he was being unnecessarily petty. He himself knew he was being unnecessarily petty. But did that stop him? No.

By how expressive both males were with their distaste for each other, pretty much everyone on campus knew about their ‘enmity’

Rumours spread around saying Yuta stole Doyoung's girlfriend, some said they both had a fist fight which one lost, some said they were in rival gangs.

Ten had laughed his ass off at every single one of them. “Can't wait for the day people find out your enmity is like that of second graders.” he had said and received a glare from Doyoung.

Back to the present, Doyoung is still very much annoyed by Yuta's guts and possibly nothing will ever be able to change that.

Doyoung is mad, absolutely pissed when he gets his test paper back. He came second, again.

He didn't sleep at all last night, exchanged his overnight shift with a colleague, neglected all his other subjects just so he could study for this test for the past few days, only for him to come second.

Now, Doyoung would have not been so mad had he come second to any other student. But he lost to Yuta. Yuta, who didn't attend any of the class for the past week. Yuta who wasn't even present when the test was announced. 

The poor test paper wrinkles in his tight hold. Doyoung stares back at the test paper, the rage in his eyes reflecting the red ink his paper was graded with.

He takes a deep breath and stands up to move out of his seat, and from the side of his eye he catches Yuta napping on the table, his test paper hanging from his hand's loose hold, a large 100/100 written in red ink, similar to his own.

He looks down at his 98/100 and closes his eyes, "Next time. I'll beat him next time."

After having his lunch, Doyoung decides to take a walk around the city to clear up his mind and catch a breather. It's a familiar routine of his, taking a walk whenever he feels the need to step out let his lungs take in some fresh air. Today, he realized, he very much needed this walk and stepped out of the school building, rejecting the invitations from ten to a dinner. He told him to go ahead with just Kun.

He wanted them to finally realize how whipped they were for each other and do something about it. Watching them both pine over each other had become a misery for him to witness. He wanted it to end. And the best way would be giving both of them enough time with just each other.

It is way past midnight when Doyoung is returning from his date with himself. The man is currently walking past a park, his airpods plugged in his ears as he listened to his favourite artists' song, singing or humming along to them every once in a while.

It doesn't take long for Doyoung to notice the bent figure by the tree that is located where the perimeter of the park ends. Normally, Doyoung would not have been as curious as he is now, to be stepping towards the figure, still far enough to not be detected. But this isn't a normal occurrence, no. Not when the bent figure happened to be Nakamoto Yuta.

When Doyoung gets close enough, close enough to confirm that the figure is, in fact, Yuta, but also close enough to not get detected.

The sight Doyoung witnesses makes his heart soar. There sits his nemesis, feeding a cat and her kittens some food and milk.

Doyoung's heart doesn't know how to feel. Unknowingly, a small smile graces his thin lips, the sight spreading warmth to the pit of his stomach.

The moment feels too precious to Yuta, and Doyoung doesn't think he wants to intrude anymore with his unexpected presence. So he leaves just as quietly as he came.

Later that night, Doyoung lies on his bed in the dark, staring blankly at the ceiling. His mind wanders back to the sight he witnessed today, of Yuta feeding those cats with utmost care. The gears in Doyoung's mind start working, trying to figure out, just what Nakamoto Yuta was like?

He sleeps late that night.

The next afternoon, Doyoung curses while rushing through the campus, realizing there is no way he can make it to his civics class on time. There were only ten minutes left before it ends. He decides there was no use of attending it today and changes his direction to the bench in the small park they have inside campus. 

He was late to the university that day. Doyoung silently curses a certain Japanese dumbass for running through his mind the entire night, and then his asshole of a best friend (Ten) for breaking the alarm clock when he woke up for his morning classes. Doyoung makes a mental note to buy one on the way back home from his afternoon classes.

"You didn't come to class." it's a statement. Doyoung looks up to see Kun, the only friend he shares civics with. 

"Yuta came to the class." Kun seats himself beside Doyoung on the bench. At the name of his nemesis, Doyoung arches a brow.

"Ah, today's a special day of the week?" Kun nods.

"Well, I'm glad I didn't attend. Nobody wants to see his face first thing in the morning." That's a lie. Maybe. Doyoung isn't so sure of his feelings anymore. He hated Yuta, sure. But no one can deny the beauty Yuta's being is. There are times when Doyoung just wants to admire Yuta's face, but the ugly feeling of annoyance that resurfaces never lets him do that.

"Doyoung, this was an afternoon class." Kun deadpans.

"Okay, and?" The Chinese friend shakes his head, knowing fully well arguing to Doyoung is equivalent to asking for a migraine. "Anyways, we got a group project assigned by Mr. Park." Doyoung hums to let him know he's listening.

"Yuta's in your group." And just like that, Kun drops the bomb with an amused smile. There it is, the mischievous glint in his eyes. Don't we all love friends who love to see you suffer?

"You're kidding." Doyoung gapes with disbelief. 

"Heck yeah I am." Kun smiles, mischief still there. Doyoung sighs in relief, his hand going to pat his chest twice, calming himself down from the shock.

"I'm actually not, though. He really is in your group." Kun tries his best to stop himself from bursting into laughter at the way Doyoung's mouth falls open again at his words. He doesn't feel sorry at all. Okay, maybe a little bit?

"Stop fucking doing that."

"I'm sorry." Kun laughs apologetically. "You can meet up with Mr. Park later for the details on your topic and such."

"I'm requesting a change." Doyoung mutters with determination. "You know he won't listen." Kun points out and nobody could miss the way the Korean male visibly deflates at that, lips jutting out in a pout.

"Oh, and Jonghoon is with you too." Kun looks at Doyoung with a sheepish smile as he waits for a reaction, knowing very well these news will absolutely not butter his bread.

Not anyone is capable of getting on Doyoung's nerves (that's a lie, every human on this Earth is capable of doing that) but the first person managing to do that was Jonghoon, a complete, major, absolute asshole.

"Just leave." He groans and Kun pats him on the back with sympathy, leaving for his next class after.

Oh, great. Just what he needed. Doyoung could feel the life getting sucked out of him at the news of the literally the worst ever human being his group mate. He dejectedly got up and prayed to the heavens for the rest of his day to go decently. 

Later that week, Doyoung is gathered with the rest of his group mates in one of the rooms where club meetings were held. The project was about social awareness of human rights, and they have done a pretty decent job in distributing different aspects of the importance of human rights, from different categories, to each member.

For example, Doyoung has to write about how religious people living in non-religious countries in minorities are not granted their rights.

He has also done a pretty decent job at ignoring Yuta's existence, until the latter seats himself directly across him on the table. He also does not miss the subtle smirk the black haired man sends his way as he notices the annoyed expression on his face.

Other than that, both of the males have been very successful in maintaining a peaceful environment for group ethic, and respecting the peace required for everyone to work a little on their parts before they were to be dismissed. But they seemed to be the only one to be doing so. And Doyoung isn't the only one whose veins are about to burst.

Yuta quietly sits on his seat, working very diligently on his part of the project, or at least tries to. The other three guys in the group, with Doyoung's exception, aren't as cooperative as Yuta, and maybe even Doyoung, wishes they were.

One thing Yuta absolutely hates is disturbing the silence which is very much needed while trying to work.

His left eye twitches as the guy sitting right beside him laughs boisterously. Yuta notices how Doyoung's hands also halt on the notebook he's working on. He's fairly surprised Doyoung has been able to keep himself in control for so long. He expected him to burst the moment the other guys started being noisy. If he were to be honest, he's quite proud at this development.

Yuta tells himself to ignore them yet again, until one of them screws up completely.

"And then this dude just said he's pansexual. Delulu ass. Pansexuality doesn't even exist."

"Fuck did you say?"

"Watch your fucking mouth."

Two threatening voices speak up, venom heavily dripping from their tones. Everybody at the table turns to look at the voices, and are surprised to find the always calm and collected members of the team, Nakamoto Yuta and Kim Doyoung, glaring at the speaker with blood in their eyes.

For a short second, Doyoung glances at Yuta and the surprise that flashes in his eyes must have been obvious, for Yuta winks at him and goes back to glaring at Jonghoon.

"What the fuck?" the speaker, Jonghoon, looks baffled at their response.

"I dare you to say that again." Doyoung, having regained his composure, gets up from his seat with a loud noise and settles his hands on the table, leaning towards the speaker of the meeting.

"Say what? Ah. You mean, Pansexuality doesn't exist? There you go, I said it again." Jonghoon shrugs and leans back in his chair.

Doyoung is seething. Mad to the bones. He wants to rip every single strand of the asshole's hair out. The dark haired is about to speak up but before his mouth could even open to formulate words, Yuta has already glided on the table all the way to the offender. Doyoung, and everybody else present, are left gaping at the position Yuta was in, his legs dangling not far from Jonghoon's side, and his hand supporting his body weight on the table.

"Hey, buddy.” The male starts casually, "I got one question for you. Totally not mocking your lack of civic sense and respect or anything, but who even allowed you to be the spokesman of the social awareness campaign? Which absolute dumb fuck deemed you qualified to even talk about human rights, when you can't even be a decent human yourself?"

'Mr. Park' Doyoung wants to say but he stops himself, allowing Yuta to continue. He is impressed by his actions. Doyoung doesn't know much about the mysterious Japanese guy he shares civics with. Yuta would always sit at the very back, away from everyone else. He barely speaks in class, rarely participated in discussions yet the professor always complimented his work, and the man himself. Setting aside the fact that the Japanese male always gave him a headache, Doyoung is so curious as to who and what Nakamoto Yuta actually is. And now that Yutawis slowly showing streaks of his colours, Kim Doyoung is entertained. 

“What are you talking about?” Jonghoon gets up in a flash with anger pulsing through his veins, his chair screeches by the impact. Although, Doyoung thinks, the man has no right to be angry.

“He's not wrong," Doyoung crosses his arms and leans his hip against the table. “You are panphobic,” Yuta holds his right hand up and folds his thumb.

Doyoung says, “Judging from yourcconversation from the other day about how you would, and I quote, 'rather get shot than sit in a room with homosexuals', you're also homophobic." Yuta wonders why this scum hasn't been shot yet when he's been in the same room for quite a while.

" Hence," Doyoung continues, 'violating LGBTQ+ rights as stated in slide 2, headline 4 of our project.” Yuta folds another finger.

“You litter,” Dooyoung hisses, remembers the many times he has seen the imbecile throw used wrappers and cigarettes around. Yuta shakes his head and folds yet another finger.

“You disrespect the workers and think of them as inferior to you,” Yuta is tired of folding his fingers now. "You smoke in places where it's forbidden to smoke.” He folds his last finger and holds up his other hand. 

“You park in places made for handicapped, you rotten fuck.” Doyoung is almost yelling by now. He was tired of the shitty person Jonghoon is, and now it was his time to let everything out.

“You objectify women.” At this, Yuta looks at Jonghoon with a glare, his eyes holding a mixture of disgust and anger. "Those are enough reasons why you should be in a trashcan, instead of leading a meeting regarding human rights.” Doyoung heaves as he finished, the fire of his anger finally calming down. 

Yuta whistles, "Wow, you sure are a certified asshole.” The dark haired claps his hands twice and gets off the table. He proceeds to drag Jonghoon by his collar to the door.

“Fuck off.” Is all he says with a bright smile before throwing the man out of the meeting room and closing the door.

“Thanks for taking the trash out, honey.” Doyoung smiles and sits back down.

"You're very welcome, darling.” Yuta, albeit a little amused, makes his way back to the table. ”Let's cut short today's meeting. We will elect a new spokesperson in tomorrow's meeting for the final presentation.”

“Don't forget to work on your parts. I will check tomorrow and then edit it all.” A chorus of yes is heard at Doyoung's order and everyone slowly starts leaving the room.

“Kim Doyoung, huh? I didn't expect you to be such a speaker.” Yuta initiates once the room is empty sans of them.

“Speak for yourself, Nakamoto ‘nobody talk to me’ Yuta.”

Both men looked are looking at each other with eyes that hold nothing but amusement, Doyoung is almost seeing the guy in a new light. Yuta has a smile that Doyoung doesn’t think he's ever seen before – it was playful, but beautiful, and he didn’t want to look away, nor did he want to acknowledge the erratic beating of his heart. It's just the adrenaline from the previous incident, he convinces himself.

“It will be entertaining working with you.” Yuta first hesitates, then holds his hand out for a shake. A call for a truce.

“What are we, some mafias?” Doyoung snorts.

“If our underground business is protecting the minorities, then sure. Mafias we are.” Doyoung nods his head and shakes the male's hand firmly. “Very well."

The next day during lunch, Doyoung is seated with his friends; Jaehyun, a film major, Taeyong, a dance major, and Kun, who majors in chemistry.

“Hey, Doyoung. Heard something bizarre happened yesterday in your project meeting? Rumours are everywhere, dude.” Jaehyun finishes his bite of the burger and speaks. The others at the table also look at Doyoung with curiosity, all already having heard the rumours, but wanting to hear everything from Doyoung himself. 

“This asshole, a regular violator of civic senses and human rights, was leading our meeting of the project regarding spreading awareness about social issues.” Doyoung rubs at his temples, his head hurting by thinking of the amount of headassery he had to deal with.

“What the hell? Who was it?” Taeyong asks.

“Who else could it be, other than Lee Jonghoon.”

The look of understanding in everyone's eyes makes Doyoung chuckle. Everyone in the school knows about the kind of headass that person is, even the teachers. The fact that their professor without any consideration, agreed to appoint him as their leader baffles him.

“Why was he your leader?”

“Connections, your honour.” A voice unknown to the rest, but known to Doyoung, surprises the occupants of the table. 

“Nakamoto Yuta.”

“Kim Doyoung.” Yuta nods in return. "It could also be that, one; our professor somehow believes appointing him with a responsibility like this will help him become better, or two; he's a dumbass."

"Two seems more plausible." Yuta snorts at Doyoung's reply.

Everyone at the table gapes at the civil interaction between Yuta and Doyoung. Taeyong raises a brow at Doyoung when Yuta asks permission to join the table and Doyoung, very surprisingly, permits him. Doyoung just shrugs in response.

"Anyways, you know Lee Corps., the company that sponsors our uni?" Everyone nods at that. "That asshole is the CEO's son." Yuta throws some fries in his mouth.

"I'm not even surprised at the politics behind all this." Doyoung shakes his head in disappointment.

Yuta nods in agreement "Honestly."

"Why are you being," all of a sudden, Doyoung turns his whole body towards Yuta, surprising the male in the process. He tries to search for the right word, hands making wild patterns in the air. "Civil with me?"

Yuta stops eating at the question, his mouth was full of the salad (what the fuck, Doyoung thought) he stuffed it with. The sight is quite adorable, but of course, Doyoung wouldn’t admit that.

"You'd rather I bicker with you 24/7? Didn't know you were into that, Kim." Yuta continues eating, but then stops again. "Actually, I kinda expected that. I'll go back to bickering with you, sweetheart." Yuta finishes with a smile and finally returns his attention to the food. 

Doyoung scoffs in annoyance and stands up, taking his tray with him. "You're a nuisance." with that, he leaves.

"Only the best for you, darling!" Yuta yells after him, satisfied at the way Doyoung's shoulders scrunch up in irritation. 

"You're fun." Jaehyun compliments after laughing his stomach off, and Yuta just beames a smile at him.

Doyoung's classes for the day are finally over. and now that he had time, he could sit in his favourite bakery for a few hours and finally get some of the work for the project done. Holding his messenger bag tighter in his hand, Doyoung makes his way to the cafe near campus he often went to.

The brunet is in a good mood, courtesy of not seeing Yuta's face for a few days. Yuta has a habit of coming to classes maybe once or twice a week, and the rest of the week he deems it unnecessary to show himself. Doyoung celebrates those days like Christmas or Eid.

While whistling a song to himself, Doyoung opens the door of the bakery and the bell copens, signalling his entrance. The worker by the counter, Jeno, greets him with his sweet toothy smile and Doyoung returns a gummy one of his own. The boy is almost sickeningly sweet. Doyoung was willing to do everything to protect him.

He doesn’t order instantly, and Jeno knows that very well. He likes to sit by the windows, wait a while and do some of his work, then order, and that's what he does. He moves towards the table by his window which he always went to, only to find it occupied.

Usually, Doyoung wouldn't have cared and would’ve simply chosen another table to sit at, but seeing who the occupant of his usual table was, infuriates him.. He stomps towards the table and knocks on it twice.

The occupant looks up, and who else could it have been other than Doyoung's very own lovely Japanese classmate, Nakamoto Yuta?

Yuta raises his eyebrows in surprise, "Hey, Kim." Without paying any more than a second of attention to him, Yuta returns to whatever he was doing on his phone previously.

Doyoung gapes in disbelief, his ego was probably just stepped on. He knocks on the table again, this time louder and Yuta puts his phone away on the table.

The black haired boy sighs and leans back in his chair, crossing his iarms over his chest. "What offence to your being did I deliver this time, Kim?"

"That's where I sit." Doyoung simply says.

Yuta blinks owlishly. "And? You weren't sitting here when I came." He shrugs his shoulders and looks back up at Yuta, and Doyoung finally noticed the dark bags under his eyes.

Now that he notices, Yuta looks a lot more tired than usual, maybe even skinnier than before. For a short moment, Doyoung actually worries about his being.

Not wanting to disturb his classmate even more, Doyoung decides his argument with him is going to be absolutely childish. He quietly makes his way to the other chair at the table and sat down, surprising Yuta by his actions.

"Why are you sitting with me?"

Dyoung spares a glance at Yuta, the windows in his eyes closed to any sort of emotion in them. "Look around." Yuta, albeit a little stupefied, looks around nonetheless.

"Do you see any other table I could sit at?" Yuta finally registers the occupied tables all around the shop, his mouth falling open at the realisation as he turns back around to face Doyoung.

Doyoung decides not to pay any attention to Yuta and settles with working on the project they shared. Yuta, too, goes back on his phone.

For a while, they both mind their own businesses, as unbelievable as it sounds. The only sound at their table is of Doyoung's hurried typing on the notebook, and sips of the drink Yuta takes once in a while.

"Stop touching me."

A girl sitting at the table behind Yuta whispers, in a voice so low, Yuta could have mistaken it to be air. The alarms in his head started ringing and he subtly shifts in his seat, now facing the counter, so that the girl, whose voice he heard, could be seen in his peripheral vision.

Doyoung looks up at him in question, but doesn’t pay much mind to him and goes back to work.

"Please, stop."

It's a whimper this time, and Yuta doesn’t just hear the voice, but also sees the hand disturbing the girl inappropriately. It is a guy who is sitting too close to the girl for her comfort.

The guy doesn't stop even after the girl tells him to multiple times, and Yuta decides it's enough.

Doyoung startles at the sound of a chair scraping and finds Yuta walking away to the table behind them. His mouth opens to call his name but no sound leaves him as he finally grasps on to the situation. 

"I think she told you to stop touching, bud." Yuta has a smile on his face as he gripps the offender's shoulder, and the smile holds anything but hospitality. 

Doyoung sees Yuta clench the fist of his other hand, he sees the girl on Yuta's left shaking. He sees the hand too. And then he sees red. He, too, gets up, a little too quickly, for his chair makes a loud screeching sound. All the attention of the cafe is on them now.

"Excuse me?" The offender looks at Yuta, acting oblivious to his previous actions, but his hand is still there, up the girl's naked thigh, too high for it to be on the thigh.

Yuta wants to break that hand.

"She said," Yuta grits his teeth, his lips still smiling. He yanks the hand away from the girl's body. Some gasps could be heard in the air at the revelation. "To stop," his grip on the hand is a little tight, too tight. The offender hisses, wriggling his hand in Yuta’s hold to free it. "Touching."

Doyoung carefully makes his way towards the commotion and bends down to the girl's height. "Are you okay?" he asks in the most gentle voice he could ever use.

The girl, still visibly shaking nods her head, but the tears in her eyes imply otherwise. Doyoung looks towards the counter and signals the female worker at counter to tend the girl. The worker rushes towards them, and Doyoung steps aside to give her space as she takes the shaken up girl with her towards the restrooms.

Doyoung turns back to find Yuta in a glaring battle with the offender, who is now standing, his hand still in Yuta's grips. He probably stopped trying to free it at some point. The guy slightly towers over Yuta, and he felt prideful in that. Doyoung could tell from the smirk on the man’s face, but Yuta doen’t look fazed. In fact, the Japanese male looks back at him with an expression that screams bored. He's absolutely not having fun.

No words are exchanged between them, and Doyoung furrows his brows, the creases on his forehead visible. He is about to step in and maybe scold the guy, but he stops as he hears the police sirens.

The smirk on Yuta's lips only gets cockier, more confident, and the sight is slightly hot for Doyoung. He feels his adam's apple bobbing as he gulps, and shifts his eyes, a little begrudgingly, towards the offender to find his eyes widened in fear. Serves him right.

Doyoung has questions: did Yuta contact the police? If he did, when did he do it? If he didn't, who did? All his questions are answered when he sees Jeno enter the cafe, the police officers hot on his tail.

The immense pride Doyoung feels in his chest can simply not be expressed or described. He watches, as Jeno leads the police officers towards them and points at the offender, whom Yuta has been holding tightly in his hold for a while. So that's why.

The gears in head start working and all the dots finally connect. The moment Yuta shifted in his seat he had already noticed what was happening. That could have been when Yuta most likely communicated with Jeno, who was behind the counter, through signals. Doyoung was impressed, very very impressed.

Yuta finally releases the guy from his hold and the police officer take it from there. Jeno has disappeared off to knock on the ladies' restroom as the police needs the victim to make a statement.

The elder stands proud where he is, hands tucked in the pockets of his worn out ripped jeans, but the hint of anger is still present on his face.

"Fuck men." Yuta spits and shit, that was kind of hot.

Doyoung couldn't agree more, on both.

A while later they both stand outside the cafe, deeming it right to head back to the dormitories as it was late.

"Thanks for earlier. even though it wasn't for me, I still appreciate it." Doyoung looks at Yuta, and the emotions YYutais seeing in his eyes have to be the most positive and genuine he has ever seen.

Yuta smiles as a response. "I did what every sane human would have done." Doyoung doesn’t miss the emphasis on sane and human, and he once again, couldn't have agreed more.

"There are only a few of us left." Yuta sighs loudly into the night air. Truly, there were only a few people left in this world who truly cared. Doyoung believes Yuta surely as one of them.

He thought back to the time he found Yuta feeding a few abandoned kittens near the park way past midnight, to the time Yuta didn't hesitate to fight for the rights of minorities, and to this day, how he took acting against the misbehaviour towards women. Doyoung now believed, Yuta truly was a good human at heart, and his own heart swelled up.

Doyoung looks at Yuta, who is looking up at the night sky. He sees the reflection of stars in Yuta's eyes, and he also sees hope for humanity in them. "Yeah, only a few of us."

There is also guilt inside him, for hating Yuta all this while over the most stupid reasons ever. If he could, he surely would try to make up for it. Although he didn’t want to lose the bickering dynamics they had, it was still no excuse to delay his already long due apology.

"I'm sorry," Yuta makes a sound of surprise at the back of his throat and averts his eyes from the sky over to Doyoung, who feels too ashamed. Looks ashamed. 

The black haired tilts his head, "For what?"

"For being so unnecessarily rude to you for absolutely no reason." Yuta nods is head and hums. He starts walking on the path that leads them back to the dormitories.

Doyoung bites his lower lip, his entire being suddenly a lot more nervous, and he hesitantly follows Yuta.

Once Doyoung falls into step with him, Yuta turns to him with a small smile. "Nah, I'm sure you had your reasons too. I can be a little too annoying sometimes." Yuta laughs at himself, and it is a genuine laugh, with no bite behind it. Doyoung relaxes a little at that.

He still shakes his head. "No, believe me. Even if there were reasons behind the hate, they were so stupid that I don't even want to tell." 

"Then don't." Yuta says nonchalantly. He doesn’t look too bothered by the conversation, and some of the guilt in Doyoung vanishes.

"I forgive you. I’m sorry, too. For all the inconveniences I've caused you." Yuta apologizes, for he wasn't so innocent either. Even if their childish battles were initiated by Doyoung, Yuta didn't stop himself and fought back with just as much venom. 

Doyoung smiles, there is finally ease in the way he walks. His pace is more relaxed, and in harmony with Yuta's. "I forgive you."

"So we're good?" Doyoung nods. "We're good."

Not long after that, Doyoung and Yuta along with their team, present their project and get grades good enough for all of them to pass. The students would have taken a sigh of relief if finals weren't right around the corner.

It's the time where everyone has their nose stuffed in either books, notes or their laptops. the same is the case with Yuta and Doyoung. Yuta, Doyoung finds out, completely disappears off the face of earth during exam period. When asked, Doyoung was shocked to the core to find out he does so to study. Nakamoto Yuta, who gets the highest grades with just as much as reading the content of test, goes through such extremes to study for an exam.

Even though he is surprised, Doyoung doesn't stop himself from feeling warm, and a little proud at the fact that Yuta doesn't completely depend on his gifted intelligence and likes to work hard, just like any other person out there. 

Soon enough, the exam period and Doyoung doesn't remember the last time he had felt this disturbed. His routine is almost the same as it had been the other days of the week, for months if not years. Yet he feels something wrong, something misplaced. It annoys him, ruins his concentration. 

Needless to say, Doyoung has reached the peak of his stress and Kun and Ten are worried. They both sit him down, forcefully so, because the man refused to move from his desk until he had finished the chapter he was on, but anyone can tell there is no way he could even reach halfway through it when he's clearly on the verge of a breakdown.

Ten drags him to his bed, and Doyoung follows him reluctantly with a grunt. The other takes his place behind Doyoung on the bed, and starts massaging the stressed male's shoulders. "You are so fucking tense." there's no bite in his voice, just worry. Doyoung feels a little guilty for making his friends worry so much about him when they must have enough on their own plates.

Kun returns from the kitchen of the apartment Ren shares with Doyoung, him almost being a resident with how much he stays there. He has Doyoung's favourite mug in his hands with hot chocolate in it. It's simple black in colour with a flower painted on it, a gift from Kun himself and Doyoung absolutely adores it.

The Chinese male sets the mug on the bedside table and turns to Doyoung with a sigh.

"Something's wrong." It's a statement, a fact. And he clearly hears the worry in it.

"I wouldn't pry it out of you, but it's clearly messing with you a lot. I think it would be better for you to talk about it." Ten says from behind him, still intent on massaging him. 

Doyoung takes a moment to think about it. To really think about what it is that's bothering him, pushing him deep in a pool of stress and never letting him out to escape. He tries hard to find the chain that has him tied in a dark, secluded room. That's making him feel trapped, anxious.

A small voice in the back of his head echoes the same thing again and again, 'I'm not okay'. and Doyoung stiffens at that, which doesn't go unnoticed by Ten.

"You alright there?" His voice is gentle, but it's muffled by the new clouds of thunder storming in Doyoungs mind.

'I'm not okay.' He hears again in the back of his head and fights back a headache.

Doyoung looks shaken once he's out of his thoughts, realizing he had gotten lost, and his breath is a little ragged. Kun and Ten look at him in worry, the former immediately pouring water in a glass for him. The stressed male gratefully takes the glass of water and downs the cool liquid, his nerves relaxing a little with each sip.

"I," he starts to speak and his friends wait patiently, Ten now stroking his hair. He leans Doyoung's head back on his chest. "I don't know what's wrong with me." His voice breaks a little and the other realize whatever is bothering their friend must be big.

"My feelings are really... confused about something. It's something only I can figure out by myself." Kun and Ten nod in understanding. It is true, his feelings are something only he can deal with. He assures the other two that he will be fine after some rest. Ten suggests for him to go out for a walk, and Doyoung gladly complies, knowing very well that walks always help him clear his mind.

And here he is again, by the park close to his campus and dormitories. Much to his surprise, he also sees Yuta at the very same spot he had seen the male a few weeks prior. He is feeding the kittens again, and Doyoung openly welcomes the feeling of warmth that embraces him. His dark blue mind his now slowly being taken over by a bright yellow. Doyoung doesn't mind that.

This time, instead of retreating back in the shadows, Doyoung steps forward with reasons in his step. It is a huge leap, confronting the subject of his confused and disturbed feelings and Doyoung thinks if Kun would have heard of this, he would be proud.

"Hey," it's a ghostly whisper, very faint. But Yuta still gets shocked by it and screams, falling down from his crouched position, right on his ass on the ground. He groans as he gets up and glares at Doyoung, the latter only laughs at that.

Doyoung crouches down as well and Yuta returns to his previous position. He continues feeding the kittens and Doyoung watches with a small smile. The Japanese male doesn't seem to mind the new company and Doyoung is relieved that he isn't invading or making the male uncomfortable in any way. Yuta shifts a little so Doyoung can also be in front of the kittens, with a nod of his head towards the little fluff balls' direction, Yuta ushers him to pet the cats. And Doyoung does.

Yuta watches him do so with a smile and for the first time in a while Doyoung felt at peace. The soft fur of the cat distracted his mind from anything else and helped him relax. Doyoung does the mistake of looking up. And as he sees Yuta's gentle smile directed at him, he feels his heartbeat quicken. Suddenly his lungs feel constricted, as if a chain has wrapped itself around his lungs and breathing was suddenly not a part of his life.

The stress and anxiousness, Doyoung realizes, is from surfacing feelings that he isn't able to pin, and name. The fact that he felt things he couldn't decipher made him panic but he reminds himself that it is okay to feel things. And so Doyoung forces himself to take in a shaky breath, and allows himself to feel things. This time when he looks at Yuta, the smile still there, his eyes although, are on the kittens.

Doyoung feels the same punch in his gut again, he feels the air getting sucked out of him. Feels his brain lose complete control over his body. But this time, he lets himself feel whatever he feels. It works. The panic is no longer there, the chains surrounding his lungs have broken down. Doyoung breathes, and he feels okay. He is okay. He tells himself. Everything is okay, he reminds himself as he looks at Yuta.

"You okay?" Yuta asks as he sees Doyoung take another audibly obvious shaky breath. The latter replies with a nod, "Yeah. I'm okay. "

'You make everything okay.' is at the tip of his tongue but Doyoung ties it back in his mouth, closing its escape with his lips sealed shut.

Half an hour later Doyoung returns to the apartment, and finds that Kun and Ten are fast asleep in Ten's room. Warmth fills his insides as he recalls how worried they were about him, and how they took care of him. He makes a mental reminder to thank them later.

Doyoung goes straight to the bathroom and freshens himself up by splashing cold water on his face. Looking up, stares back at his reflection in the mirror, and with a much more relaxed state of mind, he returns to his room and seats himself by his desk.

Doyoung completes a couple chapters that night.

Yuta wakes up earlier than usual today. He knows Johnny, his roommate and best friend, is disturbed by it despite not showing it. But Yuta knows. The poor guy returns home at the late hours of night after his night shifts as a bartender. Sometimes, he feels bad. Hence, he makes sure to not make as much as noise in order to not disturb the worn out male.

Today is the day he visits the orphanage with Doyoung. Frankly speaking, Yuta is nervous, but also excited in some weird way. 

He steps out of the building, ready to contact the other boy only to find Doyoung already waiting there for him. 

They both soon find themselves in front of an old house, which, Doyoung learns from Yuta, is owned by an elderly man. He used to live alone in that house, until he realized instead of wandering alone from rooms to rooms, he could help people. Soon after, he turned the house into an orphanage. Yuta thinks the story is inspiring, proof that there’s still some humanity left. 

"Only one of Mr. Moon’s sons now lives with them." Yuta informs casually as he makes his way to the doorstep and knocks on the door, Doyoung right beside him. The latter hums, and Yuta physically feels the nervousness radiating off of him.

Doyoung is worried, extremely worried as to what the children will think of him. Hell, he’s barely good at being around others, never mind kids. But the difference is he doesn’t have much experience being around them, and gets very mousy when he is. What if he hurts them? What if he says something not meant for them to hear? What if they find him scary? Intimidating? Rude? Or the worst, boring?

"Hey," Yuta nudges him softly, effectively snapping Doyoung out of his reverie. The latter's eyes flicker to his in surprise, and Doyoung’s knees almost give away at the gentle smile Yuta casts at him, for him. "It’ll be okay. They’re gonna like you a lot, I know it."

Yuta thinks of holding his hand for comfort, but the other part of his brain telling him not to gets the best of him. He glances at Doyoung’s shaking hand, and apparently it was enough for him to change his mind because he reaches out and holds the other’s hand, giving it a firm squeeze.

Doyoung flinches visibly at the contact, shocked for a minute, but then allows himself to breathe. He manages a small nod in response, and squeezes Yuta’s hand back before intertwining their fingers together.

Yuta bites his lower lip to hide a smile and Doyoung looks away, refusing to acknowledge his actions, wondering how it came to this.

Doyoung supposes he can't ignore his unstable heartbeat every time he finds Yuta smiling. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but the boy’s smile was truly something. Not that he would know exactly what, he was never good at pinning down his thoughts. It often leaves him confused, kind of like right now, as they enter the orphanage with their hands swaying a bit between them. Yuta offered him comfort and he accepted. It was hard to hate him.

His inability to be at ease around kids leaves him close to the corner of the house, thinking, watching the dark haired boy play with them happily. His smile as he plays with the kids is wholesome, it’s so bright, the sun would look like an idiot next to him. Happiness, Doyoung concludes, looks good on him. 

When they move outside to play some more, Yuta is sweating buckets. He’s currently playing the second half of a football match with the high schoolers from the orphanage, his shouts and laughter being heard even from where Doyoung was currently standing. Doyoung’s eyes zero in on the strands of hair that are glued to Yuta’s forehead, and it drives Doyoung crazy. The other’s skin glistens with sweat, and it feels like the spotlight is on him. At this moment, Doyoung firmly believes Yuta is glowing. He has never seen the latter so happy, so carefree. 

Doyoung gulps. 

Yuta has a childlike essence. It’s becomes more evident when he hangs out with children. Doyoung thinks the childlike playfulness has always been there inside him, even though it takes some bickering and playful nudging to bring it out. It would take a gun to his temple for Doyoung to admit this, but he absolutely adores this trait of Yuta.

Yuta is too optimistic, too bright for Doyoung’s pessimistic tendencies. But he doesn’t mind it. Not like he used to. Yuta’s bright personality manages to create a balance between them, one he didn’t know he needed. There are so many things he has learnt about Yuta in this short time, and there are so many things he admires about Yuta. It would be difficult to list them all.

The boy, Doyoung notices, knows very well how to organize his life. He knows when to have fun and when to be serious. Yuta believes in living in the moment. According to him, the future should be worried about in the future. Doyoung didn't understand how a person could not worry and fret over the future. He ends up staying awake every other night with the thoughts of his future clouding his mind and stressing him out. But with Yuta’s advice, he’s learned to at least not let the moments of happiness go to waste. He’s learned to worry about things when it is time to worry about them.

There is so much more Yuta taught him, and Doyoung, albeit absolutely shit at expressing, is immensely grateful. If it weren't for Yuta forcing him to actually live his life a little, he would have just become a slave to life duties.

Yuta barged into his life without any warning, disturbed his peace, but Doyoung doesn't think he minds that anymore. If anything, he's grateful he, at a time, hated Yuta even if it was out of petty reasons he is ashamed to admit.

Later, when Yuta asks excitedly if he had fun, Doyoung, who had not done much but watch him the whole time, replies with a yes without as much of a second's hesitation.

The same night, Johnny and a couple other of Yuta's friends invite him out for drinks. The Japanese male looks at Doyoung who had been walking with him, and turns back to the voice on the call. "Sorry, bud, but I'm out with Doyoung."

"Bring him along!" Comes Johnny's more than enthusiast response and Yuta looks back at Doyoung in question. "Johnny's inviting us out for drinks. You are, by no means, obliged or pressured to say yes and are an independent man with complete freedom of speech that allows you to say no."

Doyoung, very amused by Yuta’s dialogue, chuckles behind his throat, "I'd love to go."

Yuta nods and turns his attention back to the call, "He said n- wait. You said what?" he only now registers the reply Doyoung has given in shock.

"I said yes, you dumbass."

"Oh," Yuta nods dumbly and then informs Johnny they will be there soon. 

When they both reach inside the club, Johnny receives them at the door and happily guides them to their booth. He's tipsy, but not enough to forget their directions back to the seat and Yuta couldn't be more thankful. The new guests are welcomed by Taeyong, Jaehyun and Sicheng, Jaehyun's Chinese best friend whom Doyoung meets for the first time.

Yuta meets the rest with great enthusiasm, especially Sicheng, he's clearly happy to see him, and it's obvious with the way he hugs the Chinese for longer than any hug should be. There's a little spark of jealousy inside Doyoung, but he brushes it off and takes his seat by Taeyong, Yuta sits across him.

Doyoung looks at Yuta having fun, laughing as he drinks the alcohol from his small glass. He's clearly having the time of his life, all worries left behind at his home as he enjoys his present, and god does he admire Yuta for that. 

Doyoung wishes he could be like Yuta; not caring about the regrets of the past or the worries of the future, and living in the moment you are in. That suits Yuta the best, somehow that trait of him is so, him. That Doyoung wasn't even surprised in the least when he had discovered this fact about him.

Doyoung continues watching him, not in the mood to drown in alcohol so he just drinks his coke from the can. And he doesn't fight the smile on his lips when Yuta leans his head back, clapping as he laughed with his whole body. Affection seeps in Doyoungs bones and he never wants that laughter of Yuta's to die. Hell, if he could he would record it and hear it back whenever he feels down. He believes it without any doubt, he would immediately feel better. 

The brunette snaps out of it when Johnny calls for his name. "Can you take Yuta home? I need to take care of this dead body here," he points at Jaehyun, leaning his entire weight on Johnny. Doyoung's sure he has passed out, completely wasted. Taeyong and Sicheng, who Doyoung later found out had been dating each other for a while, had already left. 

Doyoung doesn't want to tell anyone about the embarrassing relief he felt at the news.

His throat goes dry at the thought of taking Yuta home. But he still agrees and Johnny thanks him endlessly as he leaves with Jaehyun, promising to treat him sometime for this favour. Doyoung finishes his coke and stands up to move to the other side of the table, gently shaking Yuta who was staring blankly into the air.

The elder responds to his voice at once and smiles giddily, "Doyoung! Fancy seeing you here!" the sober male wants to laugh at the drunk adorable mess Yuta is, but he holds it back. "Let's take you home, yeah?"

Yuta giggles, honest to god giggles and Doyoung feels his heart scream in his chest. The drunk boy attempts to stand up but fails miserably as his legs give out. Doyoung hurries to stable him with both hands on his waist. Of course, they would end in a position taken straight out of a clichè romcom.

Yuta giggles again, fuck, and Doyoung can literally feel his heart attempting to jump out of his chest. He has fallen on the sofa of the booth they were in, Yuta on top of him. He stares straight at the ceiling, the dead weight on him getting heavier with every second as the realization dawns on him that he has to take Yuta home, whilst keeping his feelings in track so he doesn't end up doing something he regrets.

Doyoung absolutely dreads the journey back home. 

The sunlight peeking from the curtains disturbs Doyoung's sleep and he groans, not wanting to wake up in the slightest. He attempts to shift his position to get more comfortable, except he couldn't. A weight lying on top of him is restricting his movements and trapping him in the position he was. And suddenly Doyoung feels afraid. He slowly opens one of his eyes, and glances down at his chest to see a mop of black hair resting on his chest.

Doyoung silently gasps, his hazy state still having the conscience to not disturb the sleeping body. Memories of last night flush into his mind. How he was supposed to drop Yuta off safely, because the male was in no position to do so by himself. And Johnny had sweetly asked of the favour from him. He wouldn't want to disappoint Johnny, and himself, if something happened to Yuta in his vulnerable state.

He had taken Yuta all the way to his dorm room, and Yuta had mindlessly shuffled through his pocket for a key before shoving it into Doyoung’s open head, his body leaning completely against the dark haired, lean male. 

Yuta had almost made himself comfortable on Doyoung's shoulder, arms tightly wrapped around his waist to keep himself steady, Doyoung's arm supporting him from the shoulder. If Yuta wasn't drunk off his ass, he surely wouldn't have missed to notice how thin Doyoung's waist actually was, and how his arms wrapped perfectly around his tiny waist. 

But that wasn't the case, hence, Yuta would have to experience another opportunity of this sort to notice that.

Doyoung had meant to at least tuck Yuta in his bed before leaving, but he didn't expect the drunk male to have a deathly grip on him, dragging him along on the bed and not giving him a chance to leave. He tried a lot of times, but the grip wouldn't budge in the slightest, instead it just tightened.

Doyoung groans, Yuta was a cuddler.

He even tried waking him up, turns out along with a deathly grip, a drunk Yuta was also almost dead. When Yuta didn't loosen his grip after Doyoung's thousands of tries, he gave up, also tired. And before he knew, darkness had enveloped him in its welcoming embrace.

Doyoung looks at Yuta now, sleeping soundlessly till on top of him. He only now noticed his irregular heartbeat, and prayed to the heavens for it to not wake Yuta up. From his trapped position, he couldn't see much of Yuta's face unless he craned his neck. And he wasn't going to go through all that trouble just to see how the guy he likes look like when sleeping.

Doyoung sighs, and lifts his hand up, which was resting on Yuta's back, to search around for his phone. This was a problem he absolutely hated, that was he couldn't go back to sleep after waking up once. Doyoung envied those who could witness the joy of going back to sleep after randomly waking up.

He finds the phone on the bedside table and mentally pats himself on the back for remembering to put it aside before sleeping. Doyoung winces at the flash of his screen. It is just twenty minutes past five in the morning, he still had a while until his regular alarm rang. He puts his phone back and hesitates a little before putting his hand back on the sleeping boy's back, the other serving as a pillow under his own head.

He was still nervous, and a little flustered. But thankfully his heartbeat rate had gone down to what would be considered normal. Without giving his next actions much thought, Doyoung lifts his hand up and brings it to Yuta's hair, giving it gentle strokes, until he gains enough confidence to relax and start massaging his scalp. Doyoung can swear he hears Yuta pur in his sleep, and he fails to fight a smile back. Yuta's positive response is enough for him to continue.

A few hours pass by and Doyoung is still awake, his hand now resting on Yuta's back, the other supporting his phone and scrolling through his twitter feed. It is around eight in the morning, and if Doyoung wants to follow his alarm, he would have to wake up by eight. Yuta's alarm for six in the morning went off earlier, named 'jogging 🤘🏻😎👉🏃♂️'. 

Of fucking course Yuta wakes up every morning to jog. Doyoung chuckles to himself.

It was so obvious he had developed feelings for the guy currently sleeping his hangover off on his chest without a single care in the world. There was no way he could deny those feelings anymore. Although he wasn't ready to openly act on them no matter how much he wanted to, surely he could enjoy moments like these where he had all the time in the world to stare at the guy he liked. No one can stop him from caressing his hair, from tracing the slope of his nose, from adjusting their positions so Yuta's head was tucked right under his chin, Doyoung's hand now patting his back.

Yuta would not remember any of this when he wakes up. And even if it will make Doyoung's heart bleed a little, he would want nothing more than just that.

That's a lie and we all know it.

It's not like Doyoung is expecting Yuta to wake up in his arms, their legs tangled. He would be a little surprised at their position but go back to lying his head on Doyoung's sternum, arms tightening around his waist as he whines incoherently about his hangover.

But that is exactly what happens.

"My head hurts," Yuta pouts and looks up at Doyoung from his chest as if he's the solution to his horrendous headache. Doyoung blinks, a little aghast at how the Japanese male doesn't seem to give a single thought about their scandalous positions.

"Who told you to drink a lot?" Doyoung doesn't intend to sound like he's nagging, but that's exactly what he's doing and his conscience needs to accept that not every sentence he speaks is going to betray his true intentions and sound like something he wishes it sounds like instead of what it actually is meant to sound like.

Yuta groans even louder and Doyoung kind of feels bad giving him a hard time, when Yuta's regrets are already doing the most for him.

The Japanese male is looking up at Doyoung with the most adorable expression ever, and it's getting so hard to keep his eyes at one place. Doyoung's eyes flicker all over Yuta's features, from his eyes to nose, and then to lips. the hand on Yuta's waist unconsciously tightens when Yuta licks his lips, and the latter lets out a mute gasp as they get closer.

Doyoung seems to have lost all control over his mind, his body, his rationality. He doesn't mind that. His hand comes up to Yuta's cheek, caressing it gently with the back of his hand.

Yuta slowly moves up, and places his hand flat on Doyoung's chest, right above his heart. Doyoung hopes he can feel how erratic his heartbeat is. How all of this is because of the man lying on top of him.

There are no fireworks as their lips meet. But Doyoung thinks the obnoxious thumping of his heart against his ribs can make up for that.

The kiss is slow, painfully so. Yuta's sleepy and hungover brain not allowing him to move any further from lazy nips on Doyoung's lip. And Doyoung doesn't mind it. Not a single bit. Yuta parts their lips, just to meet again for another kiss, then a second, a third. It's only when Yuta's seemingly cold hand accidentally brushes against the skin on Doyoung's waist, exposed as his shirt must have ridden up, sending his body in shivers and snapping him out of the daze his mind was in, does he finally register what was going on.

He was kissing Yuta.

Doyoung doesn't give himself any time to think about how Yuta was kissing back. His mind is screaming all sorts of curses at himself. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I need to go. I'm so sorry." Without giving Yuta a chance to talk, Doyoung gently pushes Yuta from top of him and scrambles out of the bed. In a hurry, he collects his belongings and leaves Yuta's apartment, all while the owner watches him move with hurt evident in his eyes, hundreds of questions at the tip of his tongue, eager to be out in the air but never spoken.

They don't talk to each other after that. It was almost like they both had made a telepathic mutual agreement to avoid each other like the plague. And it seemed to work for the both of them. 

Except not really.

It's very visible, annoyingly obvious how miserable they both are away from each other. And their friends miss no chance to make it more clear.

Doyoung is miserable, very painfully so. And the only way he can get himself to relax is to take late night walks. His favourite. 

And that is what he is doing. For maybe, the fifth time this week. He is walking back now, hands tucked in the pockets of his jacket as he stares at the ground. When he looks up, what he sees makes his breath hitch. Doyoung halts in his steps, surprised at the crouched figure at the end of the street. Yuta is there, at their spot, feeding the kittens as he does so every often.

He has half a mind to turn back around and run away, far away from the subject of his misery and guilt, to go back into the comfort of his bed and stay under his blanket forever, praying to heavens (and hell) to send the grim reaper his way earlier than planned.

But the other half of him, the lovesick, whipped part of him wanted to take more steps so he stands right beside Yuta. That part of him wanted to be as near Yuta as he can without breaking any more boundaries. He would be content with just standing beside him, close enough to feel his warmth so his nerves can finally lose their bundle. He has been so restless.

He’s missed Yuta so much, if it isn't already obvious enough from the way it's been a whole minute and he hasn't run away yet.

Yuta gets up from his crouched position after giving the kittens some last ear scratches, and his eyes widen as they take in Doyoung's presence. The man sucks a harsh breath in, his fingers curling by his side into fists.

"Hey," Doyoung tries nervously, afraid of the man's reaction. He is scared Yuta would opt to ignore him and just turn back on his heels, moving along his way and leaving behind a hurt Doyoung, just like he had left a hurt Yuta back in his apartment. Doyoung gulps, and decides if that is the turn the events take, then he will accept it without a single noise of complaint towards his fate that appears to hate him just as much as he hates himself for existing. Because he deserves it.

But none of that happens. Yuta doesn't ignore him and walk away. He doesn't hurl curses at him. Instead, he smiles and whispers a breathy 'Hey' back. Of fucking course Yuta would smile at him after he left him hanging and avoided him for weeks. Because he's Yuta, his ever so sweet Yuta who doesn't half a single ounce of bad in him. Who is too kind to take a nasty revenge even if Doyoung thinks he deserves it. His heart squeezes inside his chest and it's even harder to breathe now.

"Can we talk?" He finds himself saying, and tries to ignore the slight hint of desperation making its way into his voice. And his face. Doyoung has never been good at masking his expressions when he's in front of Yuta. He wonders if Yuta ever noticed his lingering gazes at him, the soft smiles he sent his way that radiated much more affection than necessary, and was ever weirded out.

"Sure," Yuta doesn't say much and walks in the direction of the gates of the park, Doyoung wordlessly follows him. They locate themselves at the nearest bench they find. Doyoung is thankful this encounter is at the wee hours of the night and no one is around to see him have the most dreadful talk of his life.

"So," Yuta drawls. Doyoung realizes he has to talk and cannot just stare at the way Yuta plays with his legs, swinging them back and forth. Doyoung closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. God he's so adorable.

"I'm sorry." He finally gets the apology out of the way. Doyoung very clearly remembers the way hurt and confusion had painted itself on Yuta's face. And he didn't like it one bit. He hated that Yuta didn't have a smile or a blissful expression on his face. And he hated the fact even more that he was the reason behind it.

"I'm sorry for leaving you abruptly the other day. And for avoiding and ignoring you for weeks after that." Yuta doesn't say anything, and Doyoung is afraid he isn't listening. But as he looks up, he is met with Yuta staring attentively at him. A little surprised and relieved, he continues.

"I was afraid I had crossed some boundaries the other day, and it was just all too overwhelming for me. To think I've lost you, ruined our friendship because I decided to act on a spontaneous rush of some one sided affectionate feelings of mine. I needed time to bring myself back together. But that still doesn't justify the way I treated you. I'm really, genuinely, deeply sorry for that." Doyoung's eyebrows come together in a frown and his eyes hold the most sincere look Yuta has ever seen in them.

"Did you forget I kissed back?"

"Huh?"

"Were you so engrossed in kissing me that you didn't realize I was kissing back, and that your 'Act On Spontaneous Rush Of Some One Sided Feelings Of Affection' was in fact, reciprocated?"

There's a small amused smile on Yuta's lips as he repeats the part of Doyoung's speech where he tries to put a name to his desire of kissing Yuta.

"I…" Doyoung is left a blushing, stuttering mess as he registers Yuta's words.

"You kissed me back." Doyoung repeats and Yuta patiently looks at him with a smile, allowing him to take his time to register everything

"That I did."

"You like me too?!" Doyoung shrieks in shock once his brain finally works to register the laid out facts.

"Yes, Doyoung. I let you kiss me. I kissed you back. You should know that's enough to let you know I like you too." Yuta leans his palms on the bench and hunches his shoulder up. Doyoung dumbly nods, realizing that yes, Yuta in fact let him kiss him. If Yuta had not liked him back, there was no way he would have let Doyoung kiss him. He would have been kicked out of the room right at that moment without any delay.

"You actually like me too?" Doyoung asks again. Yuta laughs, finding the need of Doyoung to be assured endearing.

"Yes, silly. I like you too."

Doyoung finally smiles. "Good."

"Great."

Doyoung leans back against the bench. The tension finally released from his shoulder and a great weight was finally lifted off his chest. Yuta likes him back. And he is happy.

Yuta too leans back against the bench, his head angled up to look at the starry sky. He takes a deep breath which gets stuck in his throat when he feels a shy pinky linking with his own.

He looks down at the intertwined pinkies, then at Doyoung who isn't looking at him, his eyes fixed on the sky. But there is a soft knowing smile on his lips, and Yuta feels his own lips mirror the smile. He squeezes Doyoung's pinky with his own and turns his head to look at the sky again, his legs swinging back and forth.

They are happy.

The shift in their relationship after the confession wasn't big. They had not put a label on whatever this was, but it was okay. They liked what they had.

They laugh at the groans from their friends when they told them they weren't in an official relationship a little too much. It's not like their intertwined hands under the table resting on Yuta's lap were of anyone's business other than theirs.

They treated each other the same, still bickered back and forth until Kun had to slam his book on both their head lightly to get them to shut up. But the knowing smiles and soft gazes weren't missed by anyone.

If anything both males liked to do the most was having study dates in the library. With just two of them in a quiet environment. No snickering from their friends, no annoying questions about their relationship. Nothing. Just peace, quiet, and them.

Just the couple liked, they were both seated in the corner of the library to study. Or more like only Doyoung was studying. Yuta had long abandoned his books in favour of staring at Doyoung.

Doyoung looks up from his laptop and is not so surprised to find Yuta openly staring at him.

Yuta is resting his head on the palm of his hand. The Japanese male doesn't even try to hide it. There's a hint of a small content smile on his lips and Doyoung's cheeks turn pink. Yuta's heart fills with warmth at the blush adorning his cheeks.

"What are you doing?"

The dark haired leans forward until he's just a few inches away from Doyoung, his crossed arms rest on the table and he tilts his head. "Can't you tell?"

Yuta's voice comes out breathy, he appreciates the guy trying to be quiet in the library. But the effect it has on Doyoung is too much for him to bear, too much since he's aware of his feelings and the small distance between them. The brunette closes his fists. His hands still hovering above the keyboard.

He prays for the last bit of sanity to come and save him from possibly launching ahead and kissing Yuta square on his mouth.

At that frightening yet strangely pleasing thought, Doyoung's eyes flicker to Yuta's lips, and surely Yuta doesn't miss that. Doyoung brings his eyes back to stare right into Yuta's own. And he senses a change in his eyes.

Doyoung's eyes previously held a look that screamed flustered, maybe even a little lost. But the light in Doyoung's eyes now scream nothing but confidence, assurance, affection.

The brunette is aware he hasn't answered the male yet. And he hopes there won't be one needed as he leans towards Yuta, so slowly, painfully.

Yuta smiles. He eagerly pulls his chair forward and attaches himself to Doyoung's side. The latter silently chuckles in amusement and turns so he's facing the dark haired male.

For a while, they just stare at each other with smitten smiles on their lips. Yuta patiently takes in all of Doyoung's. His eyes roam all over his face once, twice, thrice. With every blink, his lashes paint a picture of the male sitting in front of him, looking just so beautiful. Yuta feels his heartbeat pick up its speed.

Doyoung stares back with just as much admiration. If there's anything he first noticed about Yuta, it was just how painstakingly beautiful he was. Is. There is no one on this heaven forsaken earth who could pull of bobby pins the way Yuta does. Yuta has sharp features, but they could never look so gentle to anyone else as they do to Doyoung.

"What are you doing not kissing me?"

Yuta, albeit a little taken aback by the comment, doesn't waste anymore time. He initiates the kiss. the first press is gentle, a touch of feather and Doyoung closes his eyes. He holds Doyoung's chin between his forefinger and thumb, and gives the latter's lips another press with his own, this time a little harder. Doyoung clenches his fist tightly.

He retreats, just enough for his breath to ghost on Doyoungs lips, then dives back in. Yuta takes Doyoung's upper lip between his owns first, giving it a firm but gentle suck which Doyoung reciprocates. Then Yuta takes his lower lip between his lips and it starts.

Doyoung decides he has had enough of the teasing. He sneaks his hands all the way to Yuta's nape and brings him closer. Yuta gets the hint and deepens the kiss, using his hand to shift Doyoung's jaw and his own in a more comfortable angle.

Yuta kisses Doyoung like no other. Even though he handles the younger male with gentle hands, every contact of the skin burns Doyoung and he pleads for more. Kissing Yuta, Doyoung realizes, is like stepping into sunlight in the cold winter. His body shivers to the core by the sudden warmth that envelops his body, and he openly welcomes it. Both of them fit together like perfect pieces of a puzzle. They're opposite but similar in many ways, and somehow they make it work. 

Doyoung is almost on Yuta's lap once they finally pull away, his right leg draped over Yuta's thighs and the latter's hand caressing it.

Yuta leans his forehead on Doyoung's. Their breaths mingle together as they pant, and it's hot.

"Say, what do you feel about whites?" Yuta smiles playfully along with the question and Doyoung groans out a 'fucking hate them' before taking Yuta's lips back in his own, this time a little more desperately.

Without any doubt, they were kicked out when Doyoung moaned a little too loudly as Yuta sucked a little too hard on a spot proved sensitive to Doyoung. He shoved Yuta away from him, and the latter only laughed before taking the former's hand back in his own.

The next day, Yuta joins Doyoung and co at their usual table during lunch. He leans down to deliver a peck to his dear boyfriend, whispering a 'hey' on their lips and tunes out the screams coming from everyone present at the table. There's a yell of "Johnny get off the chair!" which sounds a lot like Jaehyun but Yuta doesn't care. He's too busy stealing fries from Doyoung's tray.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaaa its finally here :D ive been writing this for abt 5 months now. 4 more months and i could have actually given birth holy shit. i hope u like it !!!! big big huge thank u to my friends maria and zee for being absolute sweethearts and helping me edit <333 
> 
> find me at @yutaleavesm on twt i cry too much over doyoungs thumb doing the thing to yuta


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